To Passie or Not to Passie

Please pass the passie!  Ah, to passie or not to passie.  That’s an excellent question.  I’m sure many people have strong feelings on the subject.  I’m conflicted.  It’s because there is more to it than just the passie, right?  Do I coddle, swaddle or let them cry?  How do I teach patience and discipline without being militaristic?  What is the formula for a relaxed and cool kid?  Maybe cool is bad.  Maybe tough is better.  Ugh.  Let’s just get him sleeping through the night.

My husband’s mother, my mother-in-law, had six children.  She did not use a pacifier for any of them.  They are all pretty great kids.  Pretty tough too.  My husband’s father delivered two of his younger siblings.  They lived on a farm in the country and the doctor did not make it in time.  They were planning on a home birth.  I believe the doctor decided they could handle the last one on their own.  I think that one decided to come out feet first.  My mother-in-law has the sweetest, most soothing demeanor.  Maybe her voice served as a pacifier.  She also raised chickens and cut off their heads.  My mind can’t quite compute the contradiction.  I remember visiting my husband’s family farm when we were dating.  I was frequently chased by their unruly cow.  The cow thought I was my mother-in-law-to-be and that I was going to feed him.  Although I love animals, the cow sort of freaked me out.  I tried racing from the car to the house before the cow could catch me but my husband-to-be decided to lock me in the car, giving the cow a sufficient head start.  Of course, once I got in the house I was assaulted by five younger children (four boys) and a perhaps a pig hiding under the kitchen table.  It was probably better that they never had passies.  Having a passie in that house might have resulted in missing a meal.  There was alot of competition what with six mouths to feed, not to mention the cow, pig, goats and chickens.  I didn’t like the chickens either.  They sat in the trees and attacked you as you walked by.

I can’t help view the passie warily and yet I grab it without reservation when needed.  I don’t know why I call it a “passie” anyway.  I guess I’ve already started with the babytalk.  I don’t exclude the passie from the parental tool box, but I don’t love it either.  I want to learn my baby’s language, his cues and cries.  I want to be his passie whenever possible (ie nipple chafing), but I also want him to be self-sufficient and fearless.  For now, the passie is a dessert to be provided in moderation.  Pass the passie, please!  Only after you’ve eating, peeped, pooped and passed gas!

Happy 3 Weeks Old!

Baby Bear, you are almost three weeks old!  I can’t believe it.  You’re perfect and I love you!  Three weekends ago I began pre-labor.  (Up until contractions are 10 minutes apart is considered “pre-labor”.)  I did not know that at the time.  I had contractions 45 minutes apart all Saturday.  I went to the gym, cleaned, and even went out to lunch.  The waitress was slightly alarmed by my groans.  By the close of Saturday, contractions were 20 minutes apart.  By the close of Sunday, they were 10 minutes apart.  So apparently, I did not start “real” labor until Sunday night.  Sometime Sunday night, the contractions stopped.  I did not even know that was possible.  In hindsight, I should have gone to bed and rested.  Alas, I was too excited to get the show on the road.  I began marching around the house to help induce labor.  By 2 or 3 am Monday morning, we headed to the birth center.  As soon as we got there, my husband and the midwife took a nap while I waded in a plastic, blown up hot tub.  I ate and drank herb tea to assist with contractions.  The tea tasted horrible, but I would have done anything the midwife asked.  Then, the fun began.  We tried every labor position possible.  Some of them the midwife and I argued about but I eventually gave in.  I actually found contractions on the toilet quite manageable.  From there, nothing went as planned.  My labor was long.  My water wouldn’t break.  Pushing lasted a very long time.  I was very tired at the end and my contractions started to weaken.  Baby Bear decided to poop on the way out.  He came out slightly off-center and he needed a little suction to clear his lungs.  I say all that just to say how perfect it all turned out and how perfect he is now.  I was never concerned or in pain.  We simply addressed every challenge with patience and persevered.  I am so glad we used a midwife and delivered at a birth center.  As soon as Baby Bear was placed on my chest around 5 pm Monday evening, all my energy returned.  We went home a few hours later.  Time for the next adventure!  Three weeks later the newest challenge: to passie or not passie?